BDSM.tech the plain-English kink reference Types of Non-Monogamy: Polyamory, Open, Swinging & More
Non-monogamy isn’t a single arrangement. It’s a whole family of them. These are the main types under the ethical non-monogamy umbrella, and the ways they differ from each other.
Polyamory
Several loving, romantic relationships at once, with everyone’s knowledge and consent. It’s about emotional connection, not only sex, and there’s a fuller picture in what polyamory is. Poly comes in plenty of styles of its own.
Open relationships
Usually a committed couple who are each free to have sex or go on dates with other people, while keeping their partnership as the emotional centre of things. The border between ‘open’ and ‘poly’ is blurry, and every couple draws it themselves.
Swinging
Couples who play recreationally with other couples or singles, mostly socially and sexually rather than romantically. There’s more in swinging explained. It often runs on community and parties.
Relationship anarchy
Dropping hierarchy and preset rules altogether. Each relationship gets negotiated on its own terms, with no automatic ranking of one partner over another. It’s more a philosophy than a structure; see relationship anarchy.
Monogamish
Mostly monogamous, with a few specific, agreed exceptions. A threesome once in a while, play only on holiday, a ‘one-night rule’. A small, contained opening rather than a full rebuild.
Solo polyamory
Practising polyamory without a ‘primary’ partner and without the goal of merging lives. Independent by design, with several meaningful relationships running at once.
Mix and match
Almost nobody fits one label cleanly, and that’s fine. These are vocabulary, not boxes. Most people build a version that fits them and rename it as it changes shape. What holds steady across all of them is honesty and consent.
FAQ
What are the different types of non-monogamy?
The main forms are polyamory (multiple loving relationships), open relationships (a couple who date or play with others), swinging (couples who play recreationally with other couples), relationship anarchy (rejecting hierarchy and fixed rules), and monogamish (mostly monogamous with agreed exceptions). Many people mix and adapt these.
What's the difference between polyamory and an open relationship?
Roughly: polyamory allows multiple emotional, loving relationships, while 'open relationship' usually means one couple who are emotionally committed to each other but free to have sex or dates with others. In practice the terms overlap and every couple defines their own version, the labels are starting points, not rules.